Day 4: A Scaring Start and a scaring me

Today started with a series of scaring rejection. Information from a major rental website is mostly inaccurate: none of the listings under "short-term rental" provide any short-term lease. I got upset and frustrated and as usual, M is my punching bag. I asked him what to do and got mad with whatever he suggested. He finally said: maybe I move first and you stay here with Leonard and Annie? Tears almost filled in my eyes immediately and I swore his were the same. I regreted being so mean to him. I must looked ugly and scaring.

Those who had known me for a while all heard about my dad who is a person with terrible temper. Sometimes I wonder if I inherited the gene from him. I really hope Leonard did not get this part from me. One of the best character of M is his good temper. I hope Leonard can learn from M.

In the afternoon, things started to get better. I went to local newspaper websites found one place after the other. After having six potential houses on the list, I finally believe the family can stick together and feel much better. To settle my mind, I decided to hand-make something. I was too anxious to knit so I bake.

I made three dozen of Pecan Bandelbrot. This is a Martha Stewart receipt. I am never a big fan of Martha Stewart product line, especially this brand seems always priced higher than others. However, I have to rate "Martha Stewart Cookies" (2008) one of the best receipt book I ever have. Not only because of the good receipts but also the way it is indexed and published.

According to the book, Pecan Bandelbrot is literally "Pecan style almond bread". More precisely, it is pecan biscotti that supposed to be made by almond but not quite right. I guess it is because of baking soda, the cookie is less sturdy and more crumbly. This is the second time I made the cookie. I have learned that I should have shaped the dough flatter as the dough raised almost 50% after baking. The thickness not only influences the looks but also allows moisture accumulated at the center of the dough. For semi-biscotti, I really want to make the cookie as dry as possible. I also have decided to improve this receipt by adding 1/4 cup of cake flour to increase the crispiness texture.

I felt much relief after the cookies were done. I found I made one avoidable mistake (so me) by forgetting the pinch of salt. I detected a hint of base taste on the tip of my tongue but both Annie and M love the cookie. Okay then, I swear I did not scare them with a knife or more madness to get them say good thing. Maybe I want to make "pecan" treat to tell M I was sorry to get mad to him in the morning.

Today's Potty train still ends with Leonard telling me he will "fall" in Chinese. And he shows me the hole again. He still is very curious about the potty bag. I start to worry how long I can keep him interested in the bag he was not able to play.

Today in History (M named it):

August 08, 2009. M and I attended an orientation party in his church in Baltimore. He was standing between two of his best friends in a game. The person in front of him is his groomsman and the person behind him is a doctor and took (my favorite) photos for the wedding. We were considered newly-wed and I looked kind of shy. M looked very relax in these photos.

August 08, 2011. M's dad arrived to join his mom. We ordered cake from Wagmen and I have to explain to the bakery girl as she looked very very puzzled when I asked her to write "Happy Father's Day" on the cake. August 8 sounds very much like Papa in Chinese, hence the father's day. In the picture, the cake cutter looks like a high-heel shoes and is a gift from my sister-in-law. I also made pizza with pineapple for the first meal after arrival because he really likes Hawaii Pizza.