Misbehaviors with shovel and sand in playground

When dropping Taikun to daycare this morning, Debby shared an unexpected but not-surprising news: Taikun has been misbehaving for about a week in playground. He used a shovel to hit others, and threw sands to others. The major target was Jayden, his friend. Although sometimes others were target as well. 

Playground caregivers gave oral corrections and so did Debby. Though Taikun responded, “Okay, Debby. Okay Debby.”, soon afterwards he did those again. He regarded it a fun to do this since he was laughing when doing these, not out of anger. He gets extremely excited when doing large motor activities, and left behind whatever told him just several minutes ago.

We inquired what we can do, and was advised that we can reiterate to him that this is not an accepted behavior. T and I then verbalized it before we left. I told him three times, including one time leading him to the indoor sand box where the sand and a small shovel is available. I stressed you cannot use a shovel to hit others, and cannot throw sand to others. Taikun repeated he couldn’t do those again with a lot bē-sái” (no). Then we reported to Debby we already reiterated him, and asked her feedback on a sticker note for what’s going on later today. It is planned to have a 45 minutes of playground time later between 11:15-noon so let’s wait to see if situation gets better today.

This is actually not new. He playfully hits all family members now—albeit sometimes we didn’t take it very seriously simply jokingly letting it go. It's the time to change—if we do not correct it will become a social problem when he is outside.  

Though I can see this may be related to his distractability or forgetfulness (to the verbal disciplines just received), I do not hope to see it as a symptom of a larger problem--saying ADHD. Hope his behavior can be corrected.

Added evening pickup: On a note by Debby: "Leonard was much better behaved on the playground today. He did not hit anyone or throw sand. In the gym, however, he did pull Jayden's hair."

Geez. After home, we serious put him on a chair and started our preaching again. His pulled down his face---and murmured, "A-kun beh khàu".

Good boy--now he starts to understand something in human's life. I hope he can start to learn something in life. Let's wait and see--my dear boy.

Added May 20 2013 (Monday): As a follow-up, we chatted with Debby for our observation of his attacking behavior home. We observed that he would hit or kick us too, just in a playful way showing his affection. We wonder if it is because his limitations in language he would feel upset or frustrated when hoping to initiate a social relationship with others--say inviting other to join him to play, or expressing the hope to join others to play.

Debby responded that she is following the verbal rules of kids with necessary manners. She would play deaf if a kid forgets to use a "please" when requesting having more milk during the meals. Taikun knows what he is doing---he is basically impulsive and cannot resist to urge to hit others when he is in "hyper" mode. For hair-pulling incident, true--Jayden's hair is very tempting (in braids) for sure. However, Debby has punished him by locating him to the side of the gym to be alone for 5 minutes or so. After being put aside, Taikun started to sob. When the session was about over, he said "All done". Yes, as Debby suggested, it is very disheartening to see kids sob--however, if rules and disciplines are not insisted it will only invite bigger problems. Consistency and insistence is a key, and it is important to follow standards to allow Taikun to know where the line is.