"Slow warm-up"

Taikun, as  T said tonight, is a kid who takes long to get into a situation.
For example, it takes so long for him to start trying the food we adult eat. It takes forever to dress him since he kicks and waves hands during the process.  He giggles so "violently" when we smear cream [Centaphil] on his dry-prone skin. If not, the itchiness causes him to scratch, leaving severe rashes or skin inflammation. Not to mention he would be unable to sleep at all.

As T reflected, e.g., I get frustrated easily each time when seeing him resisting to brush teeth. Every time standing in front of the sink with him to start the ritual, I do feel upset since he is not cooperative.  He would open the mouth only for 15 seconds at best. Unfortunately, this is far below the time needed for finish a row of teeth—at least 10 strokes, as recommended by some websites.

Unfortunately, there are four major rows of teeth waiting to be cleaned. Often, after opening the mouth for twice, he refuses to cooperate any more. This leaves two rows of teeth—often the upsides ones—uncleaned. Perhaps this accounts for why the decay rate is higher for upside teeth than downside teeth according to some dentists.

Once frustrated, I often take extreme approaches to address his behaviors. I would issue an ultimatum by feigning to leave the bathroom. If he keeps refusing to cooperate, I will actually leave the bathroom while shutting off all lights. Of course, as we can predict, he would burst into tears in the dark, crying “no.” When asked if he would open the mouth, he would reluctantly say “yes,” showing a compromising gesture. However, after I return the dark bathroom, his word expires in 30 seconds: After opening his mouth simply for 20 seconds, he refuses to open it any more.

So, the cleaning is often half-done, leaving the qualm for decaying and cavity. We even warned him that if he doesn’t open the  mouth for cleaning,  the “teeth bug” will grow  and soon he will need to see a dentist, who uses buzzing electronic devices, to pull the bug  out. Albeit he hates anything that would buzz, this threat worked for only several times, and now doesn’t work any more.

Unlimited things distract him when brushing: say the cup for rinse. He would grasp the cup suddenly and sidetracked to play the water in it. Sometimes it’s the toothpaste that diverted his attention. Even my toothbrush (electronic, which he doesn’t like for its buzzing noise) or A’s toothbrush can engage him in the middle of the cleaning ritual. Results often lead to my anger and frustration.

I  guess I need to be more patient to him. Smile to him. Refrain from unnecessary ultimatums. Encourage him to try some behavior especially in an interesting, if not fun, way.  Since he is an observer, it may be a good idea to demonstrate behaviors to him so that he can pick them up by mimicking.

Of course doing so will consume a lot of time: only love can tide over all these hassles.